Big Fish

It's been awhile since I wrote an actual blog, kind of, I've only written poems and songs the last few times. I hate to say that I don't really have much to offer in terms of food for thought. I've been going through a crazy mental battle right now, which sucks since school is starting soon and I'm not prepared at all. I have no idea how to react to people now, I've lost all sense of myself. The only thing I know anymore is that God exists, and the some how some way He will help me.
But I have no idea how, I mean I'm not even sure if I believe in Hell in the eternal sense anymore, I don't know if I've just been hiding like Jonah did, I think that metaphorically I am stuck inside of a fish, trying to contemplate what God wants me to do, but the reason why I am in this fish for so long is because I can't figure it out. It's kind of lonely in here, I feel like if I had a girl with me then she would help answer all my questions. I miss having that relationship. Which is why I wrote picnic in the rain, to try and embrace those feelings of being in a relationship.
I used to think that people needed me, but really they don't, at least not really. I've been extremely prideful in that matter, thinking that I am better than most people because people needed me. It's a good thing that I fell from the pride, but its going to be a tedious task picking myself back up, there is no way that I can do it alone. Good thing there is God, I just hope he sends me someone that I need soon. I don't know how much longer I can last in this fish. It's dark, and lonely, and I'm running out of the essentials. Messages in bottles won't do any good, I've tried and even if anyone got the message, they obviously didn't try and help. So if anyone is out there, anyone at all. I need you.

Picnic in the Rain

Oh, baby, you know that you are
The thunder to my lightning
oh yeah.

When the clouds come rollin' in
On our picnic day
All that I can say
Is I love you, girl

Let's dance in the rain
I'll take away all of your pain
I want you to be mine
Our love will transcend time
I'll wipe the tears from your face
The touch of our lips will make my case
We were meant to be Together
oh yeah

You are the thunder to my Lightning
The fire in your eyes
Fuels the flame in my Soul
Our spirits entwined
You're always on my mind
My love

As the rain begins to fade
And the clouds begin to clear
I see a gift from God
That says we have none to fear
For even as the rainbow goes
We'll be in His hand
Forever, Together
Yeah

-GJ Frye

Thoughtless

Well, I am not exactly thoughtless today, but I've started writing this without any purpose in mind so hopefully by the time I finish this sentence something will pop up in my brain. No cigar. Well this is awkward. I watched a movie last night called Fracture, it had Anthony Hopkins in it, I really like that guy but that was a twisted role for him, I prefer him as the jolly old man that he usually is. Yes! I know what to write, okay, here it goes:

As the shot rings through my ears
I stride and strive with all my might
All of those around me
They aim to defeat me
My enemy however is not them
My battle is not with them
It is not with my fellow competitors

The enemy I must defeat
Is the fierce wind pushing me back
It tugs at my hair and my clothes

The enemy I must defeat
Is the blazing sun beating down on me
Whipping my back with rays and flares
Beckoning me to collapse of exaustion

The enemy I must defeat
Is the forever changing terrain
From stone to earth to grass
Calling me to fall and to fail
But falling would not mark my failing

The enemy I must defeat
Is the chilly rain and dense water
Weighing down my limbs
Seducing me to stop
As if it were saying
"This feels good, stop to feel better"

The Enemy I must defeat
Is a voice trying to deceive me
Telling me that I don't have what it takes
Lying to get what It wants
Not through Pride will I overcome It
I will not say that I am better than a quitter
Strength from above is my strength to overcome

It is not my fellow brothers
Who are the enemies I face
Those that I have listed
Are the true enemies
In a Harrier's race

Hah, I was worried for a second there that I wouldn't think of something to write. I call that "A Harrier's Race."

-GJ Frye

Interrupted Insight

Wow, I did it again I started to write a blog just to not want to right it anymore. I was going to give an excerpt from Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis for you to read, but really I don't think it is that type of book. You cannot just take parts of it and say that you will understand and take to heart those parts and then just dismiss all of the other parts as unimportant or less important, you just can't do that. Same with the Bible, too many people are hypocrites, they really are. I admit that I am a hypocrite but at the same time I try to have integrity and change my hypocrisy into something like that of a pebble rather than a boulder. There are many people who choose to believe that some parts are true and others are not. Some people that tend to want to follow a few of the Bible's teachings and not all of it. Well that isn't good. You should try to follow everything, but make sure that you understand what it is saying first. For those of you who have trouble understanding what it has to say, take an online devotional, or after a sermon talk to the pastor or speaker about what you didn't understand, because not understanding isn't an excuse. If you seek the Lord your God with all of your heart and then you will find Him, and seeking goes along with taking the time to fully understand everything, not just looking at it at face value and saying that you don't have time and that what you do understand is the only thing that matters. Seek to fully understand the things that come to you from the Word of God or else you are DOOMED! Not really, but the point is to be humble and try to give it some thought. Would you rather take a hit on your pride or hitch a ride to hypocrisy and the gentle sloping road to (yes I am going to say it although I try not to because I don't believe that you absolutely will but I do think that it is more possible than you might have previously thought) Hell?

P.S. Mere Christianity is a great buy and you can get it on amazon right now for $11 and free shipping, if you do get it and don't understand it I am here for you.

GJ Frye

Thanks For Listening.

On this tower I sit
In the middle of the meadow
I start to talk to You, God
I start to sing to You, God

And I know that You'll be
Listening
And I know that You'll be
Here for me
Because I am yours
Forever more

All these troubles that I face
I give to you my Lord
All the things that I'll go through
Will be Your journey, too

And I know that You'll be
Listening
And I know that You'll be
Here for me
Because I am yours
Forever more

I Love You with all my heart
I praise You with all my soul
You are my Guiding Light
Jesus, You are my whole life

And I know that You'll be
Listening
And I know that You'll be
Here for me
Because I am yours
Forever more

Jesus thank you for
All the things that you've done
Jesus thank you for
All that you are
Jesus thank you for
Listening, To me

-GJ Frye

Letting Go

People tend to come and go in your lifetime, they will be with you for awhile and then leave, or you will be with them for awhile and then you will leave. It hurts when the people you get really close to have to leave your life temporarily or permanently.
When a really close friend of mine had to leave I couldn't understand why it hurt so much, and a simple answer like "you guys were close and he meant a lot to you" wouldn't cut it for me.
I think the true reason why it hurts so much when someone leaves is because when you meet someone new you really do give them a piece of your heart, and they usually return the gesture with a piece of theirs.
Now spiritually and metaphorically speaking, your heart yearns to stay whole. That's why when someone leaves your heart will feel as though its on the point of breaking.
But another amazing thing about your heart is that it heals. It heals because it mixes in with the new piece, it learns from it and it makes your heart stronger. It makes the heart better and more wise. And to me, most importantly, it offers a promise of hope. Hope that the memories will be remembered and the happiness will be savored. Hope that in the world you have friends who care about you. With each new piece of heart that melds into your own, you will come to find that you aren't really the owner of your own heart. You are just the keeper, the guardian, and it is up to you if you let your self become vulnerable to what happens when you give away a piece of your heart.

Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket--safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable. (C.S. Lewis, Four Loves)

Will you stay in the dark and not take risks? Or will you take the risk of brokenness and love as we were meant to love?

-GJ Frye